Such a good Friday.

Today is good Friday. I woke up this morning pondering the fact that I killed Jesus and because of His scandalous grace He loves me anyway. It is truly a miracle and one I will never understand but will forever inherit the rewards.

Then I logged onto Facebook and witnessed a miracle that happened on the other side of the world on this good Friday. Aaron and I have met many precious people throughout our adoption of Vitaliy. One couple that has stood by us in prayer and the deepest understanding and empathy are Brad and Jonana. She has become one of my dearest friends. In a culture where children with special needs such as Down syndrome are often aborted before they take their first breath, Brad and Jonana shared the heart of Jesus and saw His image in a petite, breathtakingly beautiful, gentle and loving little girl they named "Haley." They understood that to Her creator, she has infinite worth. Even though they had no idea the unimaginable heartache that was in store for them and their two children at home, they were obedient. God gave them the faith to chase after her, so they did. They traveled one week after we did to go meet their little girl for the first time in October 2012. They had been working through the red tape of Russian adoption for years to get to that point. And then God blessed them with the privilege of meeting their sweet girl-and they all fell in love. Here's one of the first pictures they took holding the daughter of their hearts:

She and Vitaliy are from the same region. We stayed in close contact while they were in country and celebrated with them that they had found their newest daughter. We waited with them in anticipation for our court dates, which were likely going to fall within a week of each other. We received our court dates. And then the ban came. And we were confused. And drained. And crushed. And horrified.

Aaron and I went to court in Moscow in January 2013, where the judge ended up dropping our case due to the ban. Brad and Jonana did not go to their court date because they knew their case would be dropped as well. I went back to Moscow alone in May 2013 to appeal our case before three judges this time around, and our case remained dropped. I sat alone in the hallway outside the courtroom, surrounded by people quietly chatting with their attorneys in Russian all around me. And longed for my boy who I knew was just out of my reach a handful of miles away and wondered why this was turning out to be so hard. Someone from the court came out and started calling names of people who were scheduled for that day. It was then that I heard a few familiar names that made me smile-Brad and Jonana being two of them. They were back home in America praying for me and for our case with hope in their hearts for what may be for Vitaliy and Haley. I came home and we remained in close contact, grieving and hoping together. Our families prayed for each other's Russians and they prayed for our newest boys we thought we would be bringing home. They were a HUGE support for us, providing us with so much hope and lifting us up and being real, live answered prayers in the flesh.

I won't leave you in suspense anymore. This morning in Russia, Haley went home to be with her loving, beautiful, huge-hearted, brave, precious Russian family. Brad and Jonana have cried out to God for Him to be merciful to their sweet girl and He has shown Himself faithful by providing a family for her. The Lord has rescued her from the institution where she would have likely lived out her life if it weren't for this family. She is the only known child with Down syndrome who was caught in the ban who has been adopted by a Russian family. It is really, truly a miracle. She is no longer forsaken on this earth, but is a beloved daughter with a mama and papa. Right now she is probably sleeping in her very own bed in her very own house, likely the first time she's ever even been in a house. Can you imagine what that must be like for her? She went to bed Thursday night thinking that the cold institution where she laid her head was home-having no idea what was in store for her the next day on Good Friday. What a glimpse of the gospel, friends. Let's not get too comfortable in this orphanage earth we live in when we have an unimaginable eternity in store for us that is our true home if we are God's blood-bought and ransomed children.

I have to repent-I did not have the faith to believe Vitaliy could be adopted by a Russian family. I have prayed for it and I have hoped that it may be true but in my unbelieving heart I didn't know if it were possible because in my finite mind I don't have a full picture of how big God is. How foolish. Forgive me, Lord. And praise Him that He writes the best stories that involve his doing immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Vitaliy may not be adopted by a Russian family but by seeing what has happened with Haley I have been given new hope that it is true-ANYTHING is possible with God. And He has plans for every single orphan caught in the Russian adoption ban whose American families have been grieving the loss of their living child and running to the throne of grace on their behalf. He is so good and so worthy of our praise. Please pray for Brad and Jonana as they navigate through this overwhelming and glorious news and for Haley and her new family as they gently guide her through learning how to be a beloved daughter. Here is a video (in Russian) of sweet "Haley" being plucked out of that orphanage:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xWXPaNSJuAM

And here are some pictures (shared with permission) of her basking in the love of her new mama and being set free:

61 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins

    and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

    that have been devastated for generations.

5 Strangers will shepherd your flocks;

    foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the Lord,

    you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations,

    and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of your shame

    you will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace

    you will rejoice in your inheritance.

And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,

    and everlasting joy will be yours.

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice;

    I hate robbery and wrongdoing.

In my faithfulness I will reward my people

    and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations

    and their offspring among the peoples.

All who see them will acknowledge

    that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

10 I delight greatly in the Lord;

    my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,

    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up

    and a garden causes seeds to grow,

so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness

    and praise spring up before all nations.

-Isaiah 61

Thankful.

Y'all. I'm just blown away. When we were fundraising for Moses' adoption I remember praying that the Lord would provide a big chunk of what was needed and overnight Moses' adoption account went up over $8,000. I prayed the same prayer last night, but this time for our newest adoption-and this afternoon when I checked "Charley"'s adoption account, it had gone up over $5,000!!!!!!! Both donations were made by anonymous donors and they had no way of knowing they were answering a very specific prayer by giving so radically. To say we are thankful for their obedience to the Lord would be a huge understatement. I just can't get over how good our God is and how He uses faithful people to answer prayers.

Speaking of fundraising, since we never received a court date for our Ugandan adoption, we were not able to utilize any of the money we had raised to bring Moses home. So we started this new adoption with over $12,000 in the account from what had been so graciously given for him. If you were any part of helping us raise that money, we can't thank you enough. You blessed us for one adoption and now are blessing us in another. What a gift! As we looked at our finances for this adoption, we realized we need to raise about $10,000 so that is our goal. Well, I'm ecstatic to say we are over half way to the goal. We still need to raise $4,705.14 and are brain storming some ideas. A very dear old friend contacted me and has so graciously offered to do a Jamberry nails fundraiser for us, so be on the lookout for that coming soon! And if you want to keep up with how much has been raised, there is a little thermometer on the right side of the blog that I will do my best to keep up to date. Also, there is a page at the top that breaks down how much we will owe for each step. Adoption ain't cheap! 

In the mean time, I wanted to thank those of you who have commented on our announcement post, hugged our necks, texted, messaged, called, and prayed-it has been such a sweet time for us with y'all joining us in celebrating our newest little one. We had the honor of announcing our adoption news to our church family on Sunday and I recorded it on my iphone (I posted it below). That is Eli whispering in the back ground once he realizes that's a picture of his new brother up there. I'll tell y'all about his and his siblings' reactions to the news in a separate post. We are so blessed to have such a strong body of believers surrounding us in our church family. They've wept with us, prayed fervently for our little boys, encouraged us, listened to us grieve and mourn, prayed over us, and now are celebrating as though it's their child who will be coming home. Aaron and I are just in awe of how precious they've been and how God has used them as we begin the healing process and look forward with hope to the future. So, enjoy this short clip! Also, little man's name isn't really Charley-that is just the name he has been given on Reece's Rainbow. Ready to hear the name he will be given as part of our family? Wait for it.....

BOAZ ISAIAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're so pumped. We especially like the story of Boaz being a kinsman redeemer in the Old Testament and Isaiah is my favorite book in the Bible. Also, it's just a really cool name for a really cool kid. We love y'all!

We're having a baby!

I have a funny story to tell y'all. Almost 3 weeks ago-on March 11th to be exact-Aaron woke up very, very early in the morning to leave in time to make it to a work breakfast for the day. Well, I was on cold meds and already sleeping weird. Like waking up at 2 am all jacked up and ready to clean the house kind of weird. After taking that stuff for a few days in a row, I had a whole new understanding of why the pharmacy checks your id before you can buy it. Anyway, when Aaron left that morning around 3 am, I was wide awake. I had the urge to fold the heaping pile of laundry that had been growing like fungus on our dining room table for weeks days, but decided to try to go back to sleep. I knew I would suffer if I stayed up starting that early in the day. So as I was lying in bed trying to turn my mind off, I decided to check out the newly listed waiting children on Reece's Rainbow. I hardly ever went to this website anymore because my heart has been so raw from 2013, but I decided that morning to take a peek. As I was scrolling through all of the precious little faces, I was stopped in my tracks by this sweet one:

I mean, he's the cutest thing you've ever seen, right? Here's what his write up said: 

Boy, Born May 2013
PRC
Down syndrome

Tiny baby Charley! He will be turning ONE year old in May. The orphanage describes him as a “plump little baby” who eats and sleeps well. From his last report in January 2014, they said he could turn over in his bed, kick his quilt off, and follow a toy with his eyes and then his head will also turn to watch it. If you call his name, he will look for you, and he loves to lay or play in his bed. They say he is a quiet child who, when hungry, will not cry, but will suck on his hands instead.

So I immediately took a screen shot of his profile on my phone and texted it to Aaron. All it said was "I like Charley." He agreed that he was precious. And as the day went on, I started getting these hilarious memes from him. Like this (we're big Portlandia fans):

And this:

I didn't even realize until a few days later that Aaron had put a cartoon hammer in his hand. So at the point in the day when I started getting memes, I knew Aaron was really thinking about this little man and I was cautiously excited. When he got home that night our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: "So what do you think about Charley?"

Aaron: "What do you think about Charley?"

Me: "I think I love him."

Aaron: "I do too. Let's go get him."

And that was all she wrote. I contacted the agency the next day and found out more information about him, we submitted our LOI (Letter of Intent) paper work to China on March 21st, and received pre-approval from China to adopt him on March 26th. We are absolutely elated to be working to bring him home after such a tragic 2013, and we are reminded of this passage from Lamentations 3:21-24:

21 But this I call to mind,

    and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

    “therefore I will hope in him.”

God is so good to us, friends. Thank you for being excited with us as our family grows by His grace.

HE is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! Ephesians 3:20

Aaron and I in between St. Basil's Cathedral and the Kremlin in January. My toes were frozen.

Hey friends. As y'all probably know, we spent much of last year fundraising for Vitaliy's adoption. Because of YOU, we were able to go to Russia together twice for our first two trips, and I was able to go again alone for appeals court in May. Everything for his adoption was paid for and completed, except for his gotcha trip. We hope and pray to be able to do that trip sometime in the future, but in the meantime we are focusing on fundraising for Moses' adoption. And I know typing this on a blog where you are likely reading this in a whole other state or part of the world doesn't nearly convey our gratitude, but THANK YOU to those of you who faithfully gave to Vitaliy's adoption fund. I would hug every neck and wash all of your feet as a sign of our humble gratitude if I could. I really would. And thank you also to those who have already given to Moses'! We are so, so thankful.

I don't know if you noticed, but Moses' adoption grant went from just over $100 to over $8,200 OVERNIGHT this past weekend. How did this happen, you ask? The Lord used an anonymous donor to answer a very specific prayer that I prayed the day before. And He continues to use faithful people just like you to continue to grow that number. We are aiming to raise $16,000 as it will cost somewhere between $21,000-$23,000+ to bring our little man home. If you want to see an itemized break down of estimated costs, it is listed as a page at the top of the blog. We are forced to raise this pretty quickly since we will likely travel in just 2 short months, which is such a blessing! We are prepared to take care of his medical needs associated with his Cerebral Palsy and Hydrocephalus once he is home and are able to do that because of the most gracious donations you all are giving! So once again, THANK YOU!

A dear friend of ours is hosting a Facebook auction in hopes to raise money for us and three other precious adoptive families. If you have something you would like to donate to the auction such as gift cards, crafts, new/gently used clothes, jewelry, anything at all that you would like to give, please let me know on Facebook or e-mail me at vitaliyhasafamily@gmail.com. We aim to have all descriptions and pictures of the items by July 10. If you have nothing to donate but still want to participate, stay tuned on Facebook for all of the awesome things that will be up for auction once it opens on July 15!

We love y'all so much and hope you have a wonderful fourth of July tomorrow! 

Solomon Robert.

Okay, so I promised to tell y'all about the extra name on our family tree. So here goes.

As you probably know, we were blind sided by the US adoption ban which was signed late December by Russian president Vladimir Putin. It is the reason that our Vitaliy is sleeping in an orphanage tonight instead of the bedroom with his brothers about 10 feet from where I sit. I'll get more into that in another post. But you can imagine our shock when the ban was signed after we had received our court date just a couple of weeks before.

We were traveling for Christmas break when it all went down. The day after Putin signed the ban Aaron and I were driving aimlessly around Tulsa, Oklahoma while visiting family. The babies were with their wonderful grandparents at their house. We were trying to gather our thoughts and just get some time together to talk, cry, pray, etc. I checked my e-mail while Aaron was driving and I actually gasped at what I saw. At this point to say we had been on an emotional roller coaster is an understatement, so Aaron was alarmed at my reaction to whatever it was in my inbox. He looked over at me and kept saying, "What? What is it?" while I held my hand over my gaping mouth. I couldn't even tell him. I just handed him the phone. I had just received an e-mail from the adoption agency we used to adopt our beloved JoJo. They were e-mailing to let us know that Jo-Ella's birth mom was expecting again and was due one day before Eli's 3rd birthday in March. She was going to have a boy and had contacted the agency to see if we would like to adopt him. We were honored, shocked, elated, confused, afraid, ecstatic, and so much more to consider adopting him while there were so many unknowns with Vitaliy's adoption. We prayed through a lot of the confusion and got some facts. Like finding out from our Russian facilitator if she thought it was feasible that Vitaliy would be home around the same time the baby was born. She said she didn't think it would be that fast. It didn't take long for us to be able to wholeheartedly say YES! We would adopt Jo-Ella's biological brother. Of course we would! What an unexpected gift we had been given in the midst of such enormous heartache. We celebrated and told family and very close friends. We told the kids and they were SO excited. We shared with our church family. We didn't tell absolutely everyone because our hearts were so raw from the situation with Vitaliy and we wanted to guard them. From what I'm not sure. But we just did.

So we named him Solomon Robert. We filled out applications, updated our home study, sent fees. We prayed fervently for his birth mom whom we already loved so dearly. His Aunt Lauren and Uncle Brice bought him a crib that we set up in Jo-Ella's room. I bought him his coming home outfit and we prepared for a trip to go pick him up when it was time. My precious girlfriends even threw me a surprise shower and others from afar sent gifts. It was such a sweet time of joy in the midst of sorrow. The shower happened the week he was due. I was on pins and needles waiting for the phone call saying he'd been born. The day after the shower sometime after 8 pm my phone rang. It was the birth mom counselor who had been working with Jo-Ella and Solomon's birth mom. My heart skipped a beat as I answered, thinking surely this was the call letting me know she was in labor and that he would be born soon. I answered and she somberly asked if Aaron was also home. I said yes and put him on the phone with me. She started weeping. I couldn't even look at Aaron. I couldn't say anything. I just sat there numb while she explained that birth mom had called her out of the blue and said she had changed her mind. She would parent Solomon. The counselor said she was absolutely shocked because out of all of the birth moms she had worked with, JoJo and Solomon's birth mom was one she was most sure of that would place the baby once he was born. She said she wakes up panicky in the night sometimes wondering about others but never had an ounce of worry or anxiety about her. It was a short conversation since I couldn't speak. Aaron asked a couple of questions and we got off the phone. I called my Dad and quickly told him what had happened and Aaron called his parents and did the same. I e-mailed the girls who had thrown me the shower and friends who had sent gifts and told them what had happened and told them to let me know what to do with the gifts. It was all so surreal.

I had just mustered up the strength to put away a huge box of Vitaliy's clothes we had sitting out in our bedroom a couple of weeks before. That box was now replaced with a portable crib and a box of Solomon's clothes. Our room was becoming a storehouse for lost children's things. I had been taking a prescription medication and pumping every other hour in order to be able to nurse Solomon. All of that ended abruptly. It was too much.

After our January court date in Russia and now after the loss of Solomon, Romans 8:26 became very painfully alive for me:

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

My only comfort in those next few weeks and months and even now was knowing when all I could do was break down and weep and groan that Jesus himself was sitting at the right hand of God interceding on my behalf. That blows my mind. I still struggle with how to pray for Vitaliy and Solomon. Aaron and I have two sons in rough situations and we are depending on the promises of God through His word now more than ever for them and for our family. These little boys are still alive out there beyond our reach and we have no choice but to depend on our Heavenly father to be their Daddy. The funny thing is He has been all along, whether they are in our home or elsewhere. Aaron and I aren't their savior, the uncreated God of the universe is. And His plan for them far exceeds anything we could conjure up. Thanks to faithful friends and family like y'all, Vitaliy is one of the most prayed for little boys I know. And now that you know about Solomon I hope he will be too. Isaiah has always been one of my favorite books but it's now my go to when I need to be filled with truth about God's love of justice and His magnificent grace and mercy.

“Thus says the Lord to His anointed,
To Cyrus, whose right hand I have held—
To subdue nations before him
And loose the armor of kings,
To open before him the double doors,
So that the gates will not be shut:
2 ‘I will go before you
And make the crooked places[a] straight;
I will break in pieces the gates of bronze
And cut the bars of iron.
3 I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord,
Who call you by your name,
Am the God of Israel.
4 For Jacob My servant’s sake,
And Israel My elect,
I have even called you by your name;
I have named you, though you have not known Me.
5 I am the Lord, and there is no other;
There is no God besides Me.
I will gird you, though you have not known Me,
6 That they may know from the rising of the sun to its setting
That there is none besides Me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other;
7 I form the light and create darkness,
I make peace and create calamity;
I, the Lord, do all these things.’

8 “Rain down, you heavens, from above,
And let the skies pour down righteousness;
Let the earth open, let them bring forth salvation,
And let righteousness spring up together.
I, the Lord, have created it.

9 “Woe to him who strives with his Maker!
Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth!
Shall the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’
Or shall your handiwork say, ‘He has no hands’?
10 Woe to him who says to his father, ‘What are you begetting?’
Or to the woman, ‘What have you brought forth?’”

11 Thus says the Lord,
The Holy One of Israel, and his Maker:
“Ask Me of things to come concerning My sons;
And concerning the work of My hands, you command Me.
12 I have made the earth,
And created man on it.
I—My hands—stretched out the heavens,
And all their host I have commanded.
13 I have raised him up in righteousness,
And I will direct all his ways;
He shall build My city
And let My exiles go free,
Not for price nor reward,”
Says the Lord of hosts.

Isaiah 45:1-13

MOSES!

We are back! It's been a rough six months and I will do a series of posts to update y'all because I just can't do it in one, but we are so thankful to be back. We are still pursuing Vitaliy with every avenue we can and beg for prayers for him. In the meantime we have been given the incredible opportunity to adopt a precious little one from Uganda named Moses. I can't wait to tell you about how God has led us to him. For now, just know that he is absolutely amazing. He is waiting on a family. He has Cerebral Palsy and Hydrocephalus. And we are going to get him. PRAISE GOD! We may travel as soon as September so we are in a mad dash to prepare and fundraise while we have the chance. More updates coming soon!!!!!!!!! We love you!